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Remember when the cloud was just... well, clouds? Now Silicon Valley wants to literally put data centers in the sky, and the race is officially on. While Elon Musk has been busy tweeting about Mars colonies, a stealthy startup called Starcloud just quietly launched the first Nvidia H100 GPU into Earth’s orbit – a processor 100 times more powerful than anything we’ve sent spaceward before.
The 60-kilogram satellite, about the size of your office mini-fridge, is now humming along 325 kilometers above our heads, processing terabytes of satellite data without the pesky need to beam it all back to Earth first. CEO Philip Johnston boldly proclaimed that “in ten years, nearly all new data centers will be built in outer space.” Sure, Philip, and we’ll all have flying cars by then, too. But here’s the thing – he might actually be onto something.
The appeal is undeniable: unlimited solar power (no clouds up there), natural cooling (space is rather chilly at -270°C), and best of all, no planning permission required from cranky local councils. Starcloud envisions a 5-gigawatt orbital facility with solar panels stretching four kilometers on each side – essentially a floating server farm the size of central Paris. They’re betting that when SpaceX’s Starship becomes fully operational, launch costs will drop enough to make this economically viable. The company already has high-value letters of intent for compute time on their space GPUs, suggesting there’s real demand for processing power beyond Earth’s atmosphere.
The Digital Iron Curtain Descends
While tech companies are shooting servers into space, European governments are building something darker here on Earth: a comprehensive surveillance and control apparatus that would make Orwell blush. The Danish EU Council Presidency is attempting to push through Chat Control 2.0 – a supposed “compromise” that’s actually more invasive than the original rejected proposal.
Here’s the sleight of hand: officially, mandatory scanning has been dropped. But Article 4 of the new draft requires providers to take “all appropriate risk mitigation measures” – bureaucratic speak for “scan everything anyway or face sanctions.” This means WhatsApp, Signal, and every other messaging app would be forced to implement client-side scanning, examining your messages before they’re even encrypted. Your phone becomes the spy.
The scope has expanded beyond photos and videos to include AI-powered text scanning for “suspicious” keywords. As digital rights expert Patrick Breyer warns, no AI can distinguish between a flirt, sarcasm, and criminal grooming. Germany’s federal police already reports that 50% of current automated reports are false positives – tens of thousands of innocent conversations are leaked annually. EU politicians have exempted themselves from this surveillance under “professional secrecy” rules. Privacy for them, transparent walls for you.
While Chat Control has already been rejected by the European Parliament and repeatedly blocked in the Council by a minority of Member States, the Danish Presidency’s package is clearly an attempt to route the same mass-scanning architecture in through the back door – relabelled as “risk mitigation” and “voluntary” scanning, wrapped in vague language and negotiated behind closed doors in Council working groups and COREPER instead of in open, accountable debate. You can learn more about this topic here.
Europe’s Digital Sovereignty Push
Not all is bad. Alongside the Orwellian infrastructure, Europe is also quietly building its own AI infrastructure. The European Innovation Council just announced plans to invest €1.4 billion ($1.6 billion) in deep tech and AI startups in 2025, with a particular focus on creating “AI Factories” – ecosystems bringing together universities, industry, and financial actors around supercomputing centers.
The new European Commission, under Tech Sovereignty EVP Henna Virkkunen, is taking a notably different approach than its predecessor. Rather than pile on more regulations (we’ve got enough with the AI Act, DMA, and DSA, thank you very much), the focus is shifting to implementation and – gasp – actually helping European companies compete. France’s Emmanuel Macron has announced plans for €109 billion ($124 billion) in private AI investment, though critics point out that Europe still depends on American cloud giants for 70% of its computing infrastructure.
In Other News
WisdomAI raises $50 million: The analytics startup founded by Rubrik’s co-founder just scored Series A funding from Kleiner Perkins and Nvidia, promising to let business users ask natural-language questions across “dirty” data. Already being used by Cisco and ConocoPhillips – because apparently even Fortune 100 companies have messy spreadsheets.
Microsoft’s orbital ambitions: Not to be outdone by startups, Microsoft just invested $10 billion (€8.6 billion) to build a massive AI data hub in Portugal. Meanwhile, Alphabet plans €5 billion ($5.8 billion) for German data centers. Apparently, the future of AI requires both space stations and European real estate.
The EU’s regulatory reality check: Starting August 2025, the AI Act’s high-risk provisions kick in, followed by a cascade of other regulations, including the Digital Omnibus in Q4. The Commission promises “simplification,” which in Brussels-speak usually means a 500-page document explaining how things will be simpler.
GlobalLogic data breach: Hitachi-owned GlobalLogic notified 10,000 employees that their personal data was stolen via Oracle vulnerabilities. The attackers are demanding ransom, with authorities posting bounties for information. Just another reminder that while we’re shooting GPUs into space, we still can’t secure our earthbound databases.
Sweet Security’s $75 million war chest: The Israeli startup just raised a Series B round led by Evolution Equity Partners, proving that in the age of AI-powered cyberattacks, defense budgets are growing just as fast as offensive capabilities.
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